Are You Making These 4 Mental Health Mistakes?

I came back to Pakistan in May 2021 after a two-year Master’s in mental health counseling from University of Rochester. There I worked at a domestic violence site and mostly saw clients who were everything but South Asian.

Coming back home and starting my private practice, I was both confident and curious about working with my own people and the struggles they may or may not bring forth for me. There are four common mental health mistakes that I have observed while working in Pakistan. I feel these are important to highlight because the more we know about mental health, the better.

Mistake #1: GOING TO A PSYCHIATRIST AS A FIRST OPTION

In Pakistan we tend to view mental health via the medical model. We deem psychiatrists as doctors because they are! But also because we think that because they have more medical knowledge, they might know more than a therapist.

The training of psychiatrists is not based as much on the humanistic model as it is on symptom reduction. Many people in Pakistan are satisfied with taking a pill twice a day to manage their anxiety but understanding where it comes from is often A) not a concern for clients or B) feels like too much work. We end up getting medicated for many things that perhaps can get better via psychotherapy work.

Many people in Pakistan are satisfied with taking a pill twice a day to manage their anxiety but understanding where it comes from is often A) not a concern for clients or B) feels like too much work

Many people do not know the difference between a psychotherapist, a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist and end up calling all of them “doctor”.

WHAT TO DO?

Pills can only go so far. They cannot teach you to fall in love with yourself. They will not teach you how to make a boundary or to express your love for someone. While medication has its importance and value for a lot of mental health disorders to maintain functionality, its long-term potency is limited in effect.

Pills can only go so far. They cannot teach you to fall in love with yourself. They will not teach you how to make a boundary or to express your love for someone

Mistake #2: ONLY NOTICING POOR MENTAL HEALTH ONCE IT MANIFESTS PHYSICALLY

While the West has only grappled with the idea of a mind-body connection in recent years, the East has been far too familiar with it. Pakistanis can tell someone is not doing well by noticing how much roti they’re having, the colour of their face or their stress headaches. The narrative of mental stress affecting us physically is one that most people believe and can swear by. Having said this, we also only start noticing our mental health when it’s gotten physical. I get people in therapy when their insomnia has gotten very bad and when their tension headaches do not go away.

“We only start noticing our mental health when it’s gotten physical. I get people in therapy when their insomnia has gotten very bad and when their tension headaches do not go away”

A first here would be to slow down and notice our emotional needs during the day, during the week and during the month. How are we doing? What do we need? This awareness starts by emphasizing that our mental health is important and paying attention to it does not make it worse.

Mistake #3: PAYING ATTENTION TO SOMETHING WILL MAKE IT WORSE

A lot of people in our culture have somehow been taught not to make a “baat ka batangar”. Ignoring something that doesn’t logically make sense will only make it worse. However, research and mental health shows that self-invalidation is one of the key causes of prolonged mental health issues. It is through acknowledgment of our fears and vulnerabilities that we may feel empowered enough to be kind to ourselves.

“A lot of people in our culture have somehow been taught not to make a “baat ka batangar”. However, self-invalidation is one of the key causes of prolonged mental health issues”

Mistake #4: COMING TO A THERAPIST FOR SOLUTIONS

In a culture where the opinions of others are more important than what the self thinks, it is natural to see coming to a therapist as needing opinions too. Many people are surprised in therapy when I refuse to talk in absolutes and instead tap into internal resources. This can feel scary and new when we have been brought up heavily relying on the “other”.

“In a culture where the opinions of others are more important than what the self thinks, it is natural to see coming to a therapist as needing opinions too”

Therapy is a safe space for internal resource building and self-empowerment. In order to be our own heroes, we must be willing to look into our values, beliefs, skills and strengths that will enable us to navigate life’s challenges.

Here’s wishing us all empowerment through knowledge and cheers to never giving up on ourselves.

“Therapy is a safe space for internal resource building and self-empowerment in order to become our own heroes”

Jahan Ara Chughtai is an integrative trauma psychotherapist in Lahore where she sees clients both in person and online.

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