Seven Deadly Emotions

Emotions are not good or bad but are footprints and are always trying to protect us from something or helping us adapt. When we look at emotions as adaptive rather than bad, we will choose to see ourselves in a different light,” writes Jahan Ara Chughtai, integrative trauma psychotherapist in Lahore. Below she reveals the seven deadly emotions we need to watch out for.

1. FEAR

Where we feel it: Chest, gut, heart.

Other signs we are experiencing it: Feeling weak, trembling, sweating, increased heart rate.

Immediate things to do to help you: Breathe slow, ground with your environment, speak to someone, find cues of safety around you, make a list of things in your control.

Long term things to do: Notice triggers for fear and try to be aware of your wounds.

2. SHAME

Where we feel it: Pit of our stomach, throat constriction.

Other signs we are experiencing it: As if time is slowing down, hunched posture, lower gaze.

Immediate things to do to help you: Acknowledge what you feel and track what in your environment is triggering this. Challenge your negative thoughts. Look for proof of shame.

Long term things to do: Work on self-esteem, journal little achievements and recount them before sleeping.

3. ENVY

Where we feel it: Burning chest, tension in the lower part of the body, dry eyes.

Other signs we are experiencing it: Inability to stop thinking about the situation, feelings of inadequacy, self-judgement. 

Immediate things to do to help you: Remember that normal humans experience normal human emotions. Be mindful of the emotion. Name it. Let your logical brain take control. Pause before you engage.

Long term things to do: Work on positive self-talk, self-esteem and catching perfectionistic tendencies in yourself.

4. ANGER

Where we feel it: Stomach and tight chest.

Other signs we are experiencing it: Increased heart-rate, feeling lightheaded, feeling hot, pounding head. 

Immediate things to do: Move your body to release energy, make your body temperature colder to enter a calm state e.g., increasing the cooling around you.

Long term things to do: Identify triggers, set realistic expectations of yourself and relationships, increased self-care.

5. Inadequacy 

Where we feel it: Stomach, lower back.

Other signs we are experiencing it: Poor posture, digestive challenges, disordered eating, fatigue.

Immediate things to do to help you: Accept that you cannot be the best for everyone. Speak to a loved one. Change your environment.

Long term things to do: Try to notice childhood wounds and if you have critical parents. Learn to separate their voice from yours. 

6. Guilt 

Where we feel it: Mid-back, throat, heart.

Other signs we are experiencing it: Feeling unable to receive support, rumination, muscle tension, worry.

Immediate things to do to help you: Open communication, support from peers, journaling. 

Long term things to do: Work on assertiveness skills, challenge perfectionistic tendencies, make a list of things in and out of your control.

7. Revenge:

Where we feel it: Heart, chest, gut.

Other signs we are experiencing it: Inability to stop thinking about the situation, feelings of injustice, rage, anxiety.

Immediate things to do to help you: Ground with your environment and train your body to slow down. Communicate assertively. 

Long term things to do: Work on self-esteem, unresolved childhood traumas.

Jahan Ara can be reached at <therapywithjahanara@gmail.com>.

Jahan Ara Chughtai is an integrative trauma psychotherapist in Lahore where she sees clients both in person and online.

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